Monthly Archives: November 2010

HoneySugaSweet Musings: “I’m Taking My -Ish!”


*This piece was inspired by Ntozake Shange’s “Somebody Walked Off…” from For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide When Rainbows Were Enuf (pg. 49).  When I read the original piece after my break-up 7 months ago, I realized someone(s) had walked off with all of me.  The break-up was not unexpected.  The feeling that I wasn’t “me” anymore came as a big surprise. I gave away so much of myself not only to my ex but a few other ex-boyfriends.  But those former beaus didn’t take my stuff.  I willingly gave it away.  This poem is me willingly taking back my stuff !*

I’m taking back my shit

Yeah, that’s right

Call me Break-in Betty, Strong-Arm Sarah, Lockpickin’ Lucy

HELL! The name doesn’t matter

Because I’m taking back all my shit!

Not asking, begging, pleading

And damn fo’ sure not negotiating to get my stuff back

I’ve been confused and conflicted for WAY too long

Sobbing over my missing things

Lookin’ at my face on the milk carton wondering, “Who stole me? I wasn’t theirs to take!”

Today, I’m reclaiming and repossessing

Going to all the brothas that walked off with my stuff

And snatchin’ my shit BACK!

Grabbing me back

Gathering those fragmented pieces I recklessly left unguarded

Recreating the old me

Fashioning her into a new me that has always existed

I’m taking my pride, ego, flaws, time, back fat, big thighs, sunshine, laughter, ugly photo-taking face, tenderness, authenticity, prettiness, spirit, love…

MY EVERYTHING!

You! Mr. “I love you!” Mr. “You’re the one for me!”

I’m taking my shit, sir

The children you wanted me to mother

The wife you wanted me to be

The lover you never knew existed but knew existed for you

The lover you couldn’t inspire in me

The gift you couldn’t care for in the present

The facsimiles of my love you recklessly transposed on new thefts

I’m taking all that back!

Selfish bastards walking away with my shit

Hmph! I’m taking it back with vengeance

Passionately restoring the “me” I neglected to protect

Loving her the way I should’ve demanded

And when I get my shit back

Oh, because I’m going to get it back!

My fractured, fragile pieces aren’t going into a lock box

How selfish of me would that be?

Taking my stuff and hiding it away?

No! My recreated, redesigned, refashioned self will be on full global display

A touring exhibition of freedom, passion, and love

A collage of stolen and reclaimed moments called “Me.”

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HoneySugaSweet Reminder: You’ve Got to LIVE!!


“Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death.  You’ve got to Live! Live! Live!-Auntie Mame

The above is from the 1958 movie, Auntie Mame, starring Rosalind Russell.  The movie is about an eccentric woman, with an unquenchable thirst to LIVE, who suddenly finds herself caring for her deceased brother’s son.  Auntie Mame’s life is one adventure after another and most don’t believe it’s the best way for her young nephew to live.  But by the time he is a young man with a fiance it is clear how all of Auntie Mame mad-cap experiences shaped him into a well-rounded, well-ground person.  But for that to happen, Auntie Mame encouraged her nephew to LIVE!!!!!

This weekend, my 23-year old cousin was diagnosed with lymphoma. My baby is only 23!  The family and I are naturally in shock.  Who would’ve expected a perfectly healthy young woman to suddenly be facing cancer.  She’s supposed face work, school, her boyfriend, parties, her crazy family, and all the things  young 20-somethings are dealing with.  None of us expected her to battle cancer. 

I cried a bit when Mom gave me the news.  But then I thought about my cousin and her spirit.  She is a “take no sh*t” FIERCE! FLY! & FABULOUS! woman.  Though her energy is mellow, she is clear and sure about her wants and needs.  She always speaks her mind.  And she follows her dreams.  When she left college to study make-up artistry in New York City I thought she’d lost damn her mind.  She trekked from Philly to NYC for a year to become a certified make-up artist and esthetician.  My cousin made up her mind and did exactly what she wanted.  How amazing?  Remembering all of this let me know she will be fine.  She is a determined soul.  This moment in her life is just that one little moment. 

My cousin’s diagnosis also reminded me that life is unpredictable.   Because of its tempermental nature, it is imperative that we, who have been blessed to take another breath and see another day, live it as happily as possible. Each day is another opportunity to dream. With the opportunity to dream is the opportunity to realize the dream.  Remember to LIVE! LIVE! LIVE!