Monthly Archives: February 2010

FIERCE! FLY! & FABULOUS! Journey Post #4 (Stone by Stone)


Some readers may wonder why this post is titled “Stone by Stone.”  In post #2 I wrote that three people on separate occasions told me to be gentle with myself through this process.  I’m notorious for wanting to start the race at a sprint then quickly fad into a light jog.  Once I hit a slow stride I feel guilty about losing speed, stop altogether, and throw the slammin’-est pity party for 1!  Since I’ve begun reclaiming my Triple “F” status God and the Universe has strategiclly placed people along the way to remind me this isn’t a race.  I have time to reach my goals and to enjoy reaching them.  It’s the process that is the best part.  Feeling guilty takes away from that joy.  Letting others get to me about eating something unhealthy or not moving as quickly with certain changes takes away from that joy.  Wanting everyone to connect with every single post (which will never happen) takes away from that joy.  I’m reshaping a mountain.  That takes patience and care.  One day it will look as if the changes were there from the start.  But the transformation of rough stone into a beautiful work of art begins with chipping away 1 pebble.  “Stone by Stone” I am becoming the stunning architectural design God made me to be…

Its been about 5 weeks since I’ve started my Triple “F” Journey.  The process so far has been interesting.  There have been internal struggles and external factors that have made shove a sugary snack in my mouth for comfort.  Hazard of being an emotional eater.  Food is always there as your comforter and companion. 

There have been some great accomplishments since the last post.  First, I started this journey weighing 250lbs.  I currently weigh 244.8 lbs!  I lost 3lbs  this week.  Its great because I’ve been watching what I eat and paying attention to what makes up the foods I eat.  I’m not sure what my caloric intake was before I started my eating changes.  Now I try to eat between 1500 to  2000 calories.  Plus, I’m doing my best not to eat after 9p.  So difficult because that’s when I typically munch.  Water has been a fairly decent substitute for night time candy snacks.  I’m cleaning up my eating act but I noticed something strange.  As a matter of fact I noticed it when I completed a 21-day fast in 2008.  I don’t eat and drink enough period.  I can go an entire morning and early afternoon without eating.  By the time I did eat I’m starving and scarfing something horrible unhealthy.  I’m living proof that you need to eat 3 small meals and 2 snacks a day and eating nothing but junk will pack on the pounds.  I think because I’m not eating so much bad food the pounds are falling off.  (I have enjoyed chocolate chip cookies while being snowed-in this weekend.  They were tasty!!!)

While most of my neighbors in the Washington, DC area are cursing Frosty the Snowman’s visit (Over 30″ of snow was recorded in Dulles, VA) I am loving this time!!!!!  For the last 4 days I’ve been catching up on craft projects, planning events, and blog posts 😉  Its wonderful to reconnect with things I love to do and catch up on so many unfinished tasks.  Not only did I not think about food for long stretches of time, I got back to what makes me happy….CREATING!  I’m most proud of the jewelry I made over the past weekend.  Below are the coveted pair of earrings-

I realize that I have to find balance between what what recharges my SPIRIT and what pays my bill.  I would love to quit my job today and  just write, make jewelry, and paint wooden boxes all day long.  However, I like having  good credit, going on trips, and hitting the hot spots.  So until writing can pay the bills I will have a daytime job.  (And I have a feeling that one day in the not-so-distant future I’ll be a professional writer paying the bills  with my creative works!)  In finding balance I will also have to stop caring for others and take better care of myself.  That means finding time to see through creative projects, having a standing manicure and pedicure appointment (even if it’s at my home spa!) and just doing more that renews my soul not burden it.  I can’t help everyone nor can I please everyone.  Being a people-pleaser is one of my personality flaws.  It often leaves me stressed, angry, and sad.  I’ll never be a successful Triple “F” Threat drained and exhausted.  I’m tired.  No exclamation needed after that sentence.  My soul is tired.  And I am AWAKENING my soul!