Category Archives: Writing

HoneySugaSweet Musings: “I’m Taking My -Ish!”


*This piece was inspired by Ntozake Shange’s “Somebody Walked Off…” from For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide When Rainbows Were Enuf (pg. 49).  When I read the original piece after my break-up 7 months ago, I realized someone(s) had walked off with all of me.  The break-up was not unexpected.  The feeling that I wasn’t “me” anymore came as a big surprise. I gave away so much of myself not only to my ex but a few other ex-boyfriends.  But those former beaus didn’t take my stuff.  I willingly gave it away.  This poem is me willingly taking back my stuff !*

I’m taking back my shit

Yeah, that’s right

Call me Break-in Betty, Strong-Arm Sarah, Lockpickin’ Lucy

HELL! The name doesn’t matter

Because I’m taking back all my shit!

Not asking, begging, pleading

And damn fo’ sure not negotiating to get my stuff back

I’ve been confused and conflicted for WAY too long

Sobbing over my missing things

Lookin’ at my face on the milk carton wondering, “Who stole me? I wasn’t theirs to take!”

Today, I’m reclaiming and repossessing

Going to all the brothas that walked off with my stuff

And snatchin’ my shit BACK!

Grabbing me back

Gathering those fragmented pieces I recklessly left unguarded

Recreating the old me

Fashioning her into a new me that has always existed

I’m taking my pride, ego, flaws, time, back fat, big thighs, sunshine, laughter, ugly photo-taking face, tenderness, authenticity, prettiness, spirit, love…

MY EVERYTHING!

You! Mr. “I love you!” Mr. “You’re the one for me!”

I’m taking my shit, sir

The children you wanted me to mother

The wife you wanted me to be

The lover you never knew existed but knew existed for you

The lover you couldn’t inspire in me

The gift you couldn’t care for in the present

The facsimiles of my love you recklessly transposed on new thefts

I’m taking all that back!

Selfish bastards walking away with my shit

Hmph! I’m taking it back with vengeance

Passionately restoring the “me” I neglected to protect

Loving her the way I should’ve demanded

And when I get my shit back

Oh, because I’m going to get it back!

My fractured, fragile pieces aren’t going into a lock box

How selfish of me would that be?

Taking my stuff and hiding it away?

No! My recreated, redesigned, refashioned self will be on full global display

A touring exhibition of freedom, passion, and love

A collage of stolen and reclaimed moments called “Me.”

Fierce! Fly! & Fabulous! Post #7 The Words Will Come…


Its been a minute since I’ve posted anything about my Triple “F” Journey or any HoneySugaSweet Musings for that matter.  Many things have happened.  My life looks much different than I expected.  I’ve been taking time to get accustomed to my new “appearance”.  Many of my friends (Ms. Goldie especially!) have encouraged me to write.  God blessed with a flair for the creative so why not use it to tailor my new “life look” to fit my curves.  I hadn’t been hit by the desire or the words.  Finally those words came today.  I’m sure more words will come.  And in true Triple “F” manner, I will create something beautiful as the words continue to flow…

(Untitled)
By Jovette Gadson
*Do Not Copy Without Permission of Author*
 
 Where are you?
I’ve searched all over
And you still can’t be found
Not in a stranger’s smile
Not in my lover’s embrace
Not in my dreams
You’re lost
Everyone says stop searching
I refuse
I refuse such a foolish notion
You want to be found
I hear you
Your voice echoes through my soul
I feel you
Your fingertips stroke my ego
I smell you
Your scent lingers in my thoughts
I taste you
Your sweetness succulent like strawberries
I see you
Your image fading in memory
 
Where are you?
I’ve searched all over
And you still can’t be found
Not in a stranger’s eyes
Not in my former lover’s embrace
Not in my dreams
You’re lost
Everyone says you’re there
But
I am blind
I am blind to what is obvious
Obvious that you’re searching for me
Perhaps we have crossed paths
But when?
Perhaps we have stolen glances
But when?
Perhaps we have shared a laugh
But when?
When will you appear
Stand by my side
Be my soft place to land
Bring yourself to myself
So we can become ourselves
 
 Where are you?
I’ve searched all over
And you still can’t be found
Not in a stranger
Not in a lover
Not in my dreams
You’re lost
Everyone claims you’re near
I am waiting…